I know I promised not to post anything on here until I got my shit together, but some things have been bugging me.
Like how I had starting this blog to trace why I am the person I am today and what I am going/trying to do to be a better person. And how this has been misinterpreted by others as being passive-aggressive to other people and how I somehow managed to come across as victimizing myself in the process.
Like how a former friend who thought they were telling me all the things that are apparently were wrong with me was actually pointing out stuff they were doing and who then proceeded to tell me that I was going around in circles and repeating stuff to them because they wouldn’t open their eyes and realize they were doing the same thing (or actually having the flaw themselves and trying to tell me it was my flaw and not theirs). Seriously, if you’re going to have a go at someone over their flaws and they point out that you’re doing the same thing as them or even pointing out that it is YOUR flaw and not THEIRS, don’t get angry or frustrated at them. What did you expect to happen when you start doing something like that? The other person to act happy and be like, ‘Okay, thanks for telling me that. I’ll stop doing that’ in a grateful and appreciative tone and give you a pat on the back for pointing it out? Don’t ask someone to change something about them if you don’t want to be told you’re doing the same thing/s and if you don’t want to change said thing/s.
I am going to sign off. I will be continuing to focus on making myself a better person. Hope you are all well.
I am retracting my last post Friends Forever? as it is – apparently – a passive-aggressive post that one particular person believes is about them when it’s actually about someone else completely.
I had originally written the post about myself after an incident with a former friend had occurred. I had, after all, written the following at the very end of the post:
Why do I end up becoming friends with people and then fail at being a good friend and maintaining the friendship? Maybe I don’t deserve having friends?
I’m a little confused about how something that I had written that was aimed at me not being a good friend was meant to be a passive-aggressive post aimed at someone else and how it was meant to be me shifting the blame to that person when all I was doing was blaming myself.
The person who had thought the previous post was written about them has since decided to point out all the things that are wrong with me in hopes that I will go fix them. They are summarized as follows:
- I am self-centred and have to have all things about me, which means I believe the world evolves around me and everything isn’t as important as me, myself and I
- I have the need to turn everything back to me
- I apparently get upset and mad when people tell me their feelings because I am that insensitive to other people (even if I am trying to think of something appropriate to say in an appropriate manner. Because I am insensitive to other people’s feelings, that means it’s a moot point)
- I get upset when others are upset, etc.
- I am unable to acknowledge other people half the time
- I am unable to treat people as friends, just as people I’ve met with whom I am not close with
- I lack social skills and empathy towards other people
- I am too harsh and blunt when talking to people
- I am insensitive to other people’s feelings and how they will react to me being blunt and harsh and just talking to them in general and I always end up throwing it back into their faces
- I only think about myself and no one else because apparently I don’t think anyone else is as important as myself
- I victimize myself, even when I look back to see why I am the person I am, just to make people feel sorry for me
- I blame others even when it’s my own fault and try to push the blame onto them when it’s me at fault
- I’m too lazy and unwilling to get help for whatever is that’s wrong with me, regardless of financial cost
- I take things without giving things back
- I don’t pay attention to when others voice their opinions and feelings and either shut them down and go back to talking about myself or just go to looking at my phone
- I repeat what myself and other people say and go around in circles without getting to the point because apparently I am never wrong
- Apparently things need to be send to me multiple times because I supposedly do not understand what is being said the first time around
- I apparently post bitchy things on Facebook directed at people (seriously, if it were bitchy and it was aimed at a certain person, I would have let them know about either by tagging them, posting it to their wall or even sending it to them in a message) and write bitchy passive-aggressive blog posts directly aimed at other people (again, I would have indicated if it were about a certain person other than myself)
- I apparently like to try and control other people’s feelings and actions, especially if I don’t agree with them. (How is that even possible?)
- I’m ignorant of my own behaviour and how it affects people
- I am not a good friend
So basically, I am not a good person nor am I a very nice one. In fact, I am a really horrible narcissistic person.
In light of that, this will be my last blog post until I can get my shit together.
To that person who told me all of that and if you are reading this, I hope you’re happy. I really don’t know how many times I need to apologize for not being good enough and for being a horrible friend and for not being able to change overnight.
So it looks like I might be adding another person to the people I know who used to be friends with me because they don’t like me anymore as I’m too much work and not a good enough friend category.
I had messaged this ‘friend’ about a rental as last I heard, she and her boyfriend were looking at getting their own place as they were in shared accommodation. They were pretty much like “why are you telling me this? We’ve been renting our own place for months now”. I replied that I wasn’t aware of that and that I felt a little out of the loop. Their reply? I wouldn’t have felt out of the loop if I tried to keep in touch with them.
It went on with them telling me they tried really hard at the friendship and that I didn’t and wasn’t interested and was blowing them off as I barely talked to them and hardly saw them. They got annoyed when I asked if they weren’t in a good mood because we didn’t speak so often because of things popping up in our lives.
There’s another person who I used to be somewhat close to who now doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel so down about myself. Why do I end up becoming friends with people and then fail at being a good friend and maintaining the friendship? Maybe I don’t deserve having friends?
Found the image on someone else’s site and thought I’d share a screenshot of it (I have yet to learn how to reblog things on an iPad).
My partner took over an accommodation business a few months ago. The accommodation is very bush camping with hotel all mixed in together.
We’ve received a few mixed-to-negative reviews on a booking site (not our own website). I know I shouldn’t be down over them as most of the reviews were about not having enough hot water (we have small hot water cylinders). One of the reviews stated that the ‘girl from the reception desk’ seemed put out for helping patrons amongst other things (this person complained about the hot water, the pillows being flat, the taps and the entrance not being clear enough). Said girl from this review was me.
I admit it had been raining that night and I was worried that it was going to start raining when I was showing them their room. But I was not put out by them in any way. It just makes me feel like I am not good at being cheerful and chirpy and friendly every time I have to deal with someone.
It’s a pity that people are picky.
I just read an article about a woman who had been diagnosed with breast cancer and the only sign she had was a dimple on the underside of her boob.
Yes, you read correctly.
A dimple on your boob can be a sign of breast cancer.
It is important to check your boobs regularly (for men as well as women. Just because you are a man does not mean you are exempt from having breast cancer – you guys have breasts too). It is important to go see a doctor if anything changes in your boobs – if the skin changes around your boobs and armpits, if there are dimples anywhere, if your nipples change and/or leak or if there is any rashes.
The earlier cancer is detected the better your chances are of beating it. I am speaking on behalf of the people I know (most of whom I am related to) who have battled cancer. Some have had cancer detected early and beat it while others didn’t know until it was too late and some were diagnosed, had treatment and didn’t make it because the treatment wasn’t successful.
Please check your boobs and anywhere else for signs!
* N.B. If you want to follow the woman mentioned earlier in the post, her twitter account is ‘My Left Boob’ (https://twitter.com/OfNoSpecialType).
I have started a new Tumblr blog. I’ve had one for a few years now but I decided to close that one down and start again. This also means this WordPress.com blog is now the current longest running blog I have.
The link for my Tumblr blog is here: roseawall.tumblr.com/. I will be posting to that one from this one so don’t be surprised if you see the same content on both blogs.
Cheers to new beginnings, I guess.
My mother in law, my daughter and I went to see the Marilyn Monroe art exhibition today and all I can say is – OH. MY. GOD!
It was brilliant and amazing. There were some of her personal possessions, such as a luggage trunk, some childhood photographs, perfume and make up pieces that she had used and a few pieces of her clothing that she wore in her personal life, on the red carpet, in photographs or in some of the movies she was in.
I couldn’t get over how tiny the clothes were. I had to Google to find out what size she was. Back in the day (the 1950’s), she was considered a 12-16. But by today’s (Australian sizing) standards, she was a possibly 4-10 (depending on brands). And she would have had to have her clothes custom made like she did when she was alive as, not only did she have an hourglass figure, but she was a 34D in bra size and had a 35 inch bust, a 22 inch waist and 35 inch hips. And clothes these days (and apparently back then) don’t cater for a figure with those measurements. And she was a very similar size to models these days (who are 34-24-34) but a lot shorter (she was only 1.66 metres tall which is about my height).
I wasn’t expecting her to be so small. She’s such a big figure in our culture and I was expecting her to be physically bigger than what she was. I was expecting her to be taller and bigger around the hips and the boobs (her boobs were around the size I was expecting them to be anyway).
Overall, it was a pretty good exhibition and I really recommend it for people to see.
With an ever changing and quickly growing baby taking up most of my time, I have missed the date for my two year anniversary for having this blog (hence why this blog post is a little late in the making).
Well, what can I say? This year’s blogging journey was certainly different to last year’s blogging journey. There has been a few big things in my personal non-online life happen – getting a job and becoming a mother, for example – that have changed things a lot for me. It has definitely changed the amount of time I have to blog (but perhaps create more ideas and inspirations to create blog posts with :D). I have grown a little as a person and as a blogger and a writer too (I think). And I seem to have started to go in another direction with the blog posts. Or just really added another dimension to things.
I can’t wait to see what the next year of blogging will bring and where it will lead to …
The time for me to have this baby is getting closer. I don’t think it’s too far off from happening. I’m just hoping it doesn’t happen over a weekend and that it happens earlier in the week (any time from Monday till Wednesday would be good). And I hope that the baby decides to avoid other people’s birthdays.
I wonder if giving birth is as bad as what I think it would be. I wonder if I will be any good at this mothering thing. It is a big and important job to have.