I am retracting my last post Friends Forever? as it is – apparently – a passive-aggressive post that one particular person believes is about them when it’s actually about someone else completely.
I had originally written the post about myself after an incident with a former friend had occurred. I had, after all, written the following at the very end of the post:
Why do I end up becoming friends with people and then fail at being a good friend and maintaining the friendship? Maybe I don’t deserve having friends?
I’m a little confused about how something that I had written that was aimed at me not being a good friend was meant to be a passive-aggressive post aimed at someone else and how it was meant to be me shifting the blame to that person when all I was doing was blaming myself.
The person who had thought the previous post was written about them has since decided to point out all the things that are wrong with me in hopes that I will go fix them. They are summarized as follows:
- I am self-centred and have to have all things about me, which means I believe the world evolves around me and everything isn’t as important as me, myself and I
- I have the need to turn everything back to me
- I apparently get upset and mad when people tell me their feelings because I am that insensitive to other people (even if I am trying to think of something appropriate to say in an appropriate manner. Because I am insensitive to other people’s feelings, that means it’s a moot point)
- I get upset when others are upset, etc.
- I am unable to acknowledge other people half the time
- I am unable to treat people as friends, just as people I’ve met with whom I am not close with
- I lack social skills and empathy towards other people
- I am too harsh and blunt when talking to people
- I am insensitive to other people’s feelings and how they will react to me being blunt and harsh and just talking to them in general and I always end up throwing it back into their faces
- I only think about myself and no one else because apparently I don’t think anyone else is as important as myself
- I victimize myself, even when I look back to see why I am the person I am, just to make people feel sorry for me
- I blame others even when it’s my own fault and try to push the blame onto them when it’s me at fault
- I’m too lazy and unwilling to get help for whatever is that’s wrong with me, regardless of financial cost
- I take things without giving things back
- I don’t pay attention to when others voice their opinions and feelings and either shut them down and go back to talking about myself or just go to looking at my phone
- I repeat what myself and other people say and go around in circles without getting to the point because apparently I am never wrong
- Apparently things need to be send to me multiple times because I supposedly do not understand what is being said the first time around
- I apparently post bitchy things on Facebook directed at people (seriously, if it were bitchy and it was aimed at a certain person, I would have let them know about either by tagging them, posting it to their wall or even sending it to them in a message) and write bitchy passive-aggressive blog posts directly aimed at other people (again, I would have indicated if it were about a certain person other than myself)
- I apparently like to try and control other people’s feelings and actions, especially if I don’t agree with them. (How is that even possible?)
- I’m ignorant of my own behaviour and how it affects people
- I am not a good friend
So basically, I am not a good person nor am I a very nice one. In fact, I am a really horrible narcissistic person.
In light of that, this will be my last blog post until I can get my shit together.
To that person who told me all of that and if you are reading this, I hope you’re happy. I really don’t know how many times I need to apologize for not being good enough and for being a horrible friend and for not being able to change overnight.