Tag Archives: people

Retraction

I am retracting my last post Friends Forever? as it is – apparently – a passive-aggressive post that one particular person believes is about them when it’s actually about someone else completely.

I had originally written the post about myself after an incident with a former friend had occurred. I had, after all, written the following at the very end of the post:

Why do I end up becoming friends with people and then fail at being a good friend and maintaining the friendship? Maybe I don’t deserve having friends?

I’m a little confused about how something that I had written that was aimed at me not being a good friend was meant to be a passive-aggressive post aimed at someone else and how it was meant to be me shifting the blame to that person when all I was doing was blaming myself.

The person who had thought the previous post was written about them has since decided to point out all the things that are wrong with me in hopes that I will go fix them. They are summarized as follows:

  • I am self-centred and have to have all things about me, which means I believe the world evolves around me and everything isn’t as important as me, myself and I
  • I have the need to turn everything back to me
  • I apparently get upset and mad when people tell me their feelings because I am that insensitive to other people (even if I am trying to think of something appropriate to say in an appropriate manner. Because I am insensitive to other people’s feelings, that means it’s a moot point)
  • I get upset when others are upset, etc.
  • I am unable to acknowledge other people half the time
  • I am unable to treat people as friends, just as people I’ve met with whom I am not close with
  • I lack social skills and empathy towards other people
  • I am too harsh and blunt when talking to people
  • I am insensitive to other people’s feelings and how they will react to me being blunt and harsh and just talking to them in general and I always end up throwing it back into their faces
  • I only think about myself and no one else because apparently I don’t think anyone else is as important as myself
  • I victimize myself, even when I look back to see why I am the person I am, just to make people feel sorry for me
  • I blame others even when it’s my own fault and try to push the blame onto them when it’s me at fault
  • I’m too lazy and unwilling to get help for whatever is that’s wrong with me, regardless of financial cost
  • I take things without giving things back
  • I don’t pay attention to when others voice their opinions and feelings and either shut them down and go back to talking about myself or just go to looking at my phone
  • I repeat what myself and other people say and go around in circles without getting to the point because apparently I am never wrong
  • Apparently things need to be send to me multiple times because I supposedly do not understand what is being said the first time around
  • I apparently post bitchy things on Facebook directed at people (seriously, if it were bitchy and it was aimed at a certain person, I would have let them know about either by tagging them, posting it to their wall or even sending it to them in a message) and write bitchy passive-aggressive blog posts directly aimed at other people (again, I would have indicated if it were about a certain person other than myself)
  • I apparently like to try and control other people’s feelings and actions, especially if I don’t agree with them. (How is that even possible?)
  • I’m ignorant of my own behaviour and how it affects people
  • I am not a good friend

So basically, I am not a good person nor am I a very nice one. In fact, I am a really horrible narcissistic person.

In light of that, this will be my last blog post until I can get my shit together.

To that person who told me all of that and if you are reading this, I hope you’re happy. I really don’t know how many times I need to apologize for not being good enough and for being a horrible friend and for not being able to change overnight.


Being Rude Without Knowing It

A friend of mine pointed out that I was being a bit rude over the weekend when I was asking someone a question about a drink they wanted. They didn’t hear or understand what I said at first and the friend asked if I had noticed that I had been a bit rude when repeating myself. I said I hadn’t really noticed and that maybe it was because I had to repeat myself in regards to asking them if they wanted a dry or a cola in the drink they ordered. She pointed out that maybe they didn’t understand or know that that drink came in dry and cola and that I should smile and nicely repeat myself.

Obviously I still need to be careful when I’m getting a little annoyed with people when I’m talking to them. At least I had a friend there who pointed out that I was being rude when I didn’t realize and offered advice on how to do it better next time that person ordered a drink (the person that they were with came up and ordered the same drinks and I asked if they wanted dry or cola in a nicer manner).

I’m still finding it hard to speak nicely to people when I’m not in the mood for it or if I’m getting annoyed about repeating myself or if they’re just being stupid. I am always surprised at how unobservant people can be and how little they use their common sense (if they have any). I’ve been asked numerous times for pots of beer even though the place I volunteer at has no beer taps (if they looked, they would see – generally if I see people looking around the bar, I assume that’s what they were looking for and say that we don’t have any and just sell cans or stubbies/glass bottles – but there’s people who don’t bother looking at all). I’ve been asked what’s on tap and when I say water, I get odd looks just before telling them we have no beer taps and it’s whatever is in the fridge. There have been people who ask if we have an ATM (which we don’t) or an eftpos machine (which we do and which we have two small signs up at the bar stating that). There are people who don’t notice there is an assistance bell because they don’t look (I don’t know how you can miss a shiny silver bell). There’s even been people who’ve asked if the place was open despite the open sign being out, music was playing and people were there all because the wind had blown the front door shut. And there’s people who ask if the place is open on days when it’s closed and I’ve gone to take the bin out despite the fact that there are signs up stating what days the place is open.

It would be nice if people who work in hospitality didn’t have to deal with large amounts of stupid during a shift.