I know I promised not to post anything on here until I got my shit together, but some things have been bugging me.
Like how I had starting this blog to trace why I am the person I am today and what I am going/trying to do to be a better person. And how this has been misinterpreted by others as being passive-aggressive to other people and how I somehow managed to come across as victimizing myself in the process.
Like how a former friend who thought they were telling me all the things that are apparently were wrong with me was actually pointing out stuff they were doing and who then proceeded to tell me that I was going around in circles and repeating stuff to them because they wouldn’t open their eyes and realize they were doing the same thing (or actually having the flaw themselves and trying to tell me it was my flaw and not theirs). Seriously, if you’re going to have a go at someone over their flaws and they point out that you’re doing the same thing as them or even pointing out that it is YOUR flaw and not THEIRS, don’t get angry or frustrated at them. What did you expect to happen when you start doing something like that? The other person to act happy and be like, ‘Okay, thanks for telling me that. I’ll stop doing that’ in a grateful and appreciative tone and give you a pat on the back for pointing it out? Don’t ask someone to change something about them if you don’t want to be told you’re doing the same thing/s and if you don’t want to change said thing/s.
I am going to sign off. I will be continuing to focus on making myself a better person. Hope you are all well.
So it looks like I might be adding another person to the people I know who used to be friends with me because they don’t like me anymore as I’m too much work and not a good enough friend category.
I had messaged this ‘friend’ about a rental as last I heard, she and her boyfriend were looking at getting their own place as they were in shared accommodation. They were pretty much like “why are you telling me this? We’ve been renting our own place for months now”. I replied that I wasn’t aware of that and that I felt a little out of the loop. Their reply? I wouldn’t have felt out of the loop if I tried to keep in touch with them.
It went on with them telling me they tried really hard at the friendship and that I didn’t and wasn’t interested and was blowing them off as I barely talked to them and hardly saw them. They got annoyed when I asked if they weren’t in a good mood because we didn’t speak so often because of things popping up in our lives.
There’s another person who I used to be somewhat close to who now doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel so down about myself. Why do I end up becoming friends with people and then fail at being a good friend and maintaining the friendship? Maybe I don’t deserve having friends?
I’m not sure how I feel about this.
In the last few months, I’ve been deleted off the Facebook friends list of three people with whom I thought I got along well enough with for that not to happen. Apparently not.
I have sent a message to two of these people asking if I had done something to offend them and got no reply. These two people I used to go to school with and thought we got along well enough as acquaintances to be Facebook friends at least. Obviously they feel like I don’t deserve to get to know them any more than what I did. I don’t blame them. I haven'[t seen either of them since uni and I’ve moved from the town where I met them five years ago.
The other has ignored the friend request I had sent through. I know this one is fussy about who they talk to and associate with. The worst thing about this person is that my other half knows them and knew them before meeting me. I am fairly sure I have either said or done something to upset them or they think I am too friendly with someone that she no longer talks to.
I find the third person a little more concerning due to the difficulties I’ve had in the past four years in regards to talking to people. That is why I think I must have said or done something to upset this person.
I know I shouldn’t be worried about people deleting me off their Facebook pages, but still, it makes me feel bad.