The Biggest Failure

I feel like the biggest failure.

I started writing blog posts on things that have or may have contributed to me not being very good at talking to people. It doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere.

You see, the manager of the venue I volunteer at thinks I’m destroying their name and their business because I can and they want to know why I’m doing that. The thing is, I’m not setting out to do that at all. I don’t know why I’m scaring customers away. I don’t know why I’m constantly rude or abrupt or don’t smile enough or aren’t nice enough or why I’m always offending or upsetting or angering people all the time.

It also doesn’t help that the manager of the venue happens to be my fiance and the venue happens to be his own business. It doesn’t help that he gets angry with me whenever I stuff up and I hear about it not only at the venue, but also at home.

It seems that I’ve had some issues with customer service for a few years now and it’s becoming really obvious that I’m not a good fit for the venue as I’m doing more damage than good to it.

That’s probably not the only thing I’m doing damage to.

I really don’t know why I keep behaving the way I do. I don’t know why I don’t think before I do or say. I don’t know why I can’t smile and be extra nice all the time or why I find it so hard to do that.

I’m going to see a counsellor tomorrow through an employee assistance program that my aged care workplace has recommended for employees. The reason why I picked them was because the poster stated they helped with communication skills. I’m not sure if anyone else has used the program but I might as well give it a go. I don’t know if it’s going to be of any help or any use to me.

I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. Having someone getting angry with me every time I stuff up or there’s been a complaint about me isn’t helping matters. I don’t know what else is out there that would help.

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About mypersonallthing

Musings from an unknown Writing about random things, books I'm reading and snippets from my daily life. View all posts by mypersonallthing

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