Perhaps one of the reasons why I’m not so good with talking to people is because I was once told I can’t talk to people. Another is because I was bullied. Maybe I just gave up learning how to talk to people well because I was told I could not talk to people. Maybe it was because not learning how to talk to people was easier to get through the bullying. It was easier ignoring them and not speaking to them and appearing to be cold and aloof than to let them see how much their words were getting to me. It was easier to do that and get them to think that it wasn’t affecting me at all. It was easier to pretend that they really didn’t mean anything to me (which they didn’t).
But now it’s real life and I’m in adulthood. I need to learn to not act like that anymore. There’s no need for me to act like that. I am no longer in school where I am getting bullied by high school peers. There are better ways from keeping people from getting close and hurting me if I know that’s their intentions. I do not need to scare people away from other people or their businesses.
I have to believe that I can do it. That I’m not a horrible rude person. That it is possible for me to become a better person.