I was given an ultimatum last night.
I’m not going to go into details. All I’m going to say is that I have three choices and two of them will quite possibly lead to peaceful resolutions. One of the two requires me to ‘pull my head in’, as such. I am not sure how well that one will work as it’s not the first time I have participated in the discussion and had the three options given to me. I have been accused of sabotage because I don’t like something as much as the other person, which, I believe, isn’t true. For some reason, the other person thinks I’m out to ruin this thing and take it away from them so I can have them all to myself. This isn’t true as I know how much this thing means to them. They don’t believe me for some reason.
In other news, I was lectured about not cleaning up around the venue I work at last night and making the boss look like a ‘fool’ in front of the person who owns the premises. I was accused of being either stupid or lazy (it felt like it was being implied that I was both) and that I should have known better as I have my food handlers’ certificate. I was told that if the boss had enough money, he’d sack me and another girl and start all over again because we’re idiots and can’t do our jobs properly. This was after being called a ‘halfer’ earlier in the day due to apparently only doing half a job (without realizing it, might I add). I am really starting to think that I am not suited for this role and that I need to get another job and get out of there. There’s too many important things at stake and I don’t want them to be broken or lost if things keep going the way they are. Today, I did a bit of cleaning, like properly cleaning the toilets (which I got told off about last night); part of the kitchen; and then all the glasses, the trays they were sitting on and the shelves under the bar where we keep the clean glasses. I have plans tomorrow to filter the oil and clean shelves in the kitchen if I get the chance to after doing the oil.
It obviously hasn’t been a good couple of days for me. I don’t know if this week’s stuff ups are because of today being Friday the thirteenth or not. I think last week was all because of being reminded of my grandmother’s passing and being dragged into a shit fight that I don’t want to have anything to do with as it doesn’t concern me and doesn’t need mu involvement in.
I don’t always like giving up, but sometimes it is a necessity. Sometimes it is better to walk away from something if it’s not working than to stay and keep trying to work on something and going nowhere. (Just a side note – I am not talking about my relationship with my fiancee – it is working well between us – but this ultimatum could affect us.
I wish it never got to this. I wish I wasn’t so fucked up. I wish I wasn’t in this position and that there was an easier and more peaceful resolution to all of this.