I used to be bullied

Yes, that’s right.

I used to be bullied at school. From Year 5 until Year 10 (so that would be about middle school and junior high school for Americans (I’m not a 100% sure on that for school aged kids from 11-16)). It was bad since it was a small school but bit as bad as the stories you see on the news.

I had people tell me that I was ugly, had gross germs and that I had rabies. They called me names and made use of the fact that I have a hyphenated first name because they had never met someone with a hyphenated first name.

Most classmates wouldn’t sit next to me during class and they wouldn’t talk to me very much. They excluded me from the group. They gossiped about me behind my back and they spread rumours about me, such as I was a lesbian when I wasn’t. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 16 and had changed schools because most of the boys I had met previously hadn’t been very nice to me and those who were didn’t want to be associated because they didn’t want to be teased about it.

The peers from my own class weren’t the only ones doing the bullying. There were students up to five years younger than me who were joining in. I even had kids from the other local high school bully me on the school bus. They thought it was all fun and games to pick on me.

I had people say cruel things to my face but they mostly did it behind my back. They all called me ‘Donna-Rabies’ and ‘Donna-X-Ray’ because I wear glasses too and ‘Nanna-Rae’ because I dyed my hair black for a while and they thought my roots were grey, not my natural medium brown hair colour. Those were the only names I knew about. My sisters even had a laugh about the names because they thought they were funny, not something that was made up to hurt or upset me. The other students used to tease me about the fact I prefer to be called Donna-Rae and because I didn’t like being called Donna by itself.

I tried and tried to make friends with them but they kept being mean to me so I gave up. It didn’t help that I felt awkward around them and feeling very suspicious that they were going to use that against me in some way. I decided that they were really mean jerks who weren’t worth getting to know if all they did was find ways to tease me and be mean.

I even got cyber bullied but it wasn’t bad. I just got accused of being a lesbian and a few other things to try and get a bite. I remember just laughing at a former classmate who got annoyed at me for doing that and accused me of laughing because it was true. My reply was I was laughing because it wasn’t true at all. I pretty much blocked most of the class on MSN Messenger to stop it from happening.

Compared to other bullying stories, mine’s quite mild. I chose to ignore it because the teachers weren’t really doing anything about it and keep to myself because they weren’t giving me a reason to be friends with them. All they did was show me how mean and superficial they were. And I wasn’t giving them any reason to be nice to me either because I wasn’t trying to socialise with them.

This in turn has to be one of the reasons why my social and interpersonal skills are the way they are and aren’t very good. I was constantly pushed away (and pushed back to keep them away) and not included in school social situations because they didn’t like me.

My own mother thought that if we hadn’t moved states and that if I had went to the high school in my hometown, I’d get bullied bad enough to commit suicide. I don’t know if it was going to be any worse than what I’d already experienced. Maybe my mother thought that I was softer than what I was.

Like I said, what I went through could be considered mild compared to other bullying stories. There are so many people out there who have had or are having it worse than me.

Just remember it’s not as bad as how it appears. There’s support out there for you if you are getting bullied, even if the help isn’t obvious. There are people out there who love and appreciate you. The bullying isn’t the defining moment of your life. You are going to move into bigger and better things. You are going to turn into a much better and more open-minded person.

There’s lots of help and support out there.

Beyond Blue – http://www.beyondblue.org.au or 1300 22 4636

Kids Helpline – http://www.kidshelp.com.au or 1800 55 1800

ReachOut – http://www.ReachOut.com

Suicide Prevention – http://www.suicidepreventionaust.org

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service – 1309 659 467

Men’s Line – 1300 789 978

Veterans Line – 1800 011 046

* These are all Australian help organisations. If you are from overseas and think you might need help, please PLEASE search for help organisations in your area.

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About mypersonallthing

Musings from an unknown Writing about random things, books I'm reading and snippets from my daily life. View all posts by mypersonallthing

11 responses to “I used to be bullied

  • lauramomma27

    Printed to read later!! Have a great Halloween lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  • lauramomma27

    I read this over the weekend and was riveted.. I so appreciate you being so open with the world and so will so many who need to know they aren’t alone. I guess I never did one of these because I finally learned to get past it, forgive the child that formed out of the hateful words of others and be the me I am today. If nothing else Donna Rae I wish that one day that same thing happens to you. That you go out into the world shamless, proud and happy, as I finally learned how to do after 43 years of guilt and shame and a view of the world more or less like The Walking Dead looks. I know it wasn’t a coincidence we became friends here and on Facebook. One other thing I have to say is I didn’t even have the courage to write my blog until after I got past my past and yet here you are. Not saying you aren’t past it, but it still seems so fresh in your head as you write it. Those similar incidents that I can relate so very well to are now vaugue and void.. and would you believe that a lot of my Facebook friends are some of those bullies? Now that’s progress. Hell ya, I mean, I turned out alright from this geeky little girl. So did you. Time to love the you, all of it. Ya hear me friend? Just one little step at a time. Thanks again for the great brave and heartfelt post. Keep rocking on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mypersonallthing

      Thank you for that Laura 🙂 I think it’s more that it only happened recently and I documented it in journals at the time than me being past it. I hadn’t thought too much about it till I found the journals I wrote at the time. I was thinking how the impact from that has affected the person I am today. Those bullies and I ate different people and I too have some of them as Facebook friends. I hope that people who have been or are being bullied realize that it’s not the only part of their life and they’ll make it to the other side and turn out all right.

      Like

  • Jill Teresa Farmer

    We moved out West from a small town in East Texas and I got the same treatment. One day I stopped to think: How would I feel if I knew these were the sort of people who LIKED me? It didn’t lessen the initial hurt reaction, but it helped me until I could get away from there.

    Liked by 1 person

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